Wednesday, February 11, 2015

On Being and Nothingness

A groundswell  clenches at my throat.
I have stayed silent, vigil, vehemently defiant to uttering a souls word against you
Because that is who I am
I call it Loyalty- you break mold one day and call it Honor

but what is honor among theives?
where is the altruistic heart when it is abused and squandered as a sheep among wolves?

what is bred from the two opposing forces?
A sunset. A phoenix.
For what springs from a misdirected soul and a naive heart is pure in its understanding.

It is so epic that my heart flutters in a lullaby pattern
and I find myself singing that sunshine to sleep
with chakra tuning chords adn old christian praise songs from my youth.

open the eyes of my heart'
I want to see you

I remember not long ago I stood in the mirror
that mirror that I used to literally thank everymorning for allowing me to wake to '
I stood
mascara stained face
puffy eyes
and I looked into that pulseless stare of myself and I sang

"open the eyes of your heart. I want to see you"

and I see it now in retrospect.
I see the beauty in both scenarios.
The only difference now'?'

I can look back at my heart transcribed and transposed into this reality of life
and I can see through that roughed up face and that dead stare-
I can still see the love that never left me.

my essence never left.
and when I look at sierra-
she has that spark too.

and I find myself singing her to sleep with yet another personal hymn
"I could sing of your love forever"

I will oopen up about my love through the time I have disappeared.
we arent victims- but survivors.

No matter the situation- circumstance- or joy in your life
always remember that when you are at your lowest-
you always have you
your heart wont deceive you.

and see that time as a time to accept that you are in it.
just say to yourself "open my eyes, I want to see you"
and i think you will get this message.

no matter how much trust you lose in people, your memory, etc
you always know your heart.
your heart doesnt judge.
it is too honest sometimes.

keep tuning yourself.
and Namaste.