Monday, August 22, 2011

the Ghosts of a good thing

Ive been carrying corpses with me this whole time
Corpses of empty promises,
unrealistic expectations
and relationships that would never work out.

Ive been holding onto potential futures that can never be

and the funny thing?
I knew deep down that they would never come to fruition.

But I kept the ghost of a good thing.
I let the hope kiss my eyes shut at night
and awaken me in the morning.

Its all an illusion.

No one can hold my heart
Im elusive
I don't like consistency
and I can't hold onto something, someone, or myself with my hands behind me
dragging hopeless futures
pulling these decaying bodies of impossible futures.

I've grown an infection from this
Ive bound myself for too long
that my wrists are cut and infected

This stench resonates and produces a direct observation of my misdirection
and I need an antiseptic

I don't want this anymore
Im letting go.
Im giving up these ghosts.
letting them dissipate into the once believed past and non existent future.

Im releasing that desire.
And opening myself to a new adventure.

we dont need anything.

I just need me.

Nothin can stop this heart
this beat that keeps me moving.
What a beautiful sound.

So I will just lay
and listen to it
and remind myself that I am not the corpse I carry

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

these Weary eyes

I fear I have lost myself again
lost in the waves of deadlines and office life
lost in the waves of campaigning

long hours
no sunlight

and sometimes all I desire is to hear a voice
to hear my family
to know how my sister is doing

Just one utterance from my best friend could revive my spirit
the days are sticking together like pages in a book.

I need an outlet
I need a semblance of myself

I have given all of myself this past month.
almost all of it.

So I am venting in these words all of my out of tune frustration
and hoping that all that is left is my nature
back to old me

You have to make time for what you want
you have to try
because if you dont try for yourself?
who will?

time to get back in line.

time to get to the heart of the matter
and cleanse out this funk

here we go.....