Saturday, February 26, 2011

Coming Clean

Its time
time to dispose of the past
time to live for myself

If I was honest about what the problem is
I would have to say it was me

I can't live up to what others want
I don't believe in hiding oneself
I don't believe in shrouds

I can't live up to expectations
I won't
I can only exude that which is in my heart.

and my heart is naive, romantic,
and endless in giving love
entwined with a soft voice

I live in my own head
and I am learning to express my heart
it is summoned and it seems to skip my voicebox and is expressed through my eyes
in water based expression

Or on this paper

When does patience pick up?
When does ones heart resonate in the minds of others?

How do you completely express yourself while jumbling over the words to express it?

Does action dictate ones intent?
What if Intent dominates, but the action doesnt express it?

I am love
We are love

So when does the satisfaction of that begin?

When will we see that we can't live up to what others want of us?
That we have to be enough for ourselves?

That who we are eminates existence?

Life is about more than others expectations
And I choose Happiness.
That is it.

I am goofy
I am loveable
and I love being happy.

Not to ignore problems, but use happiness to work through them.
Lets get on a higher vibration.
I am choosing to do so.

Lets fulfill ourselves, then disperse it to others

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Taking a Stand

Sometimes we question ourselves.
Our inherent selves
that which thrives within us,
sometimes exposing itself, sometimes hidden like a turtle- hidden in its shell

That is- until we see things like I saw today
I was so moved I teared up.
headphones in- on my elliptical
I was crying at the gym

not tears of frustration or pain
but of beauty
I was moved at what I saw on that screen.

We are awakening.
All of us
We saw it in the streets of Egypt.
We see it in Libya
We are seeing a wave

That is- if we open our eyes
If we cleanse out the fear that keeps us in that shell
If we ignore the scare tactics and pain
and consequence.

We create our own consequence.
No one could induce anymore pain than we place on ourselves

But lets wipe the fear away and see ourselves for what we truly are.
we are revolutionary
we are individually the future.

But will it take Egypt to move us?
to awaken us out of this self deprecating psychosis?
Will it take others to awaken our inner spirits?

To be proud of our brothers and sisters over there?
When will we stand up
When do we learn to love through voicing our hearts?
When do we fight with LOVE?

I am done placating
I am done silently passing through the masses hoping to find one of us.
I am done with the group mentality.

I am here to demonstrate LOVE

We are awakening
Lets awaken our hearts, our minds, and our souls to LOVE
to uniting with others
To not being the status Quo

We are all worth it.
You are worth it
I am worth it.

I am escaping from my shell.
Its time to come completely out of our comforts
and expose our beauty
Our love

Lets stand united.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

sitting and waiting

Why is this pain in my chest?
Why do my dreams fulfill my spirit more than my waking days?

What is purpose and how do we find it?
Since I was young I was told by others that I was destined for greatness.
Well, where is it?
Where is the abundance?

Why is my heart bursting with love, good intentions, and this beautifully delicious scent?
But yet, it cant escape my lips or play out in daily life?

Why am I surrounded by millions of people and yet feel so alone?
Moved by this sky, this life, this view....
but feel as though I experience it alone?

I am often asked, "how can you have 4000 friends and still feel lonely?"
Sometimes our hearts and our heads disagree.

Sometimes life throws us curveballs, surprising us--- even if we have asked for it all along.

Life is opening up to me, sometimes as a casket and sometimes as a cocoon

Its full of unknowns.

I created the intent that I am ready and open to receive.
Then the Tower came.
And though right now is my floating stage, I still can't swim.

How does one keep their brains away from their hearts?
How do you keep the pain from seeping into the muscles?
How does one remain positive when you awaken to the idea that you really don't Know what you want?
I guess its similar to when someone tells you they don't want you...

Maybe that is when, yeah loneliness will come, and sure- you may feel alone.
But that is the lower mind talking.
That is the fear coming out.

And maybe while one is seeing that loneliness as a somber event, it is truly a time to open and take that time to sit with yourself.
close your eyes and see what your heart wants.

The longest hardest part of my life has begun.
Forget the last year, forget relationship status, forget illness, forget the basics that would jar life...
Forcing oneself to take an introspection is the hardest thing one can do.

How do we accept this with love?
How can we help one another not to feel loneliness?

Just thoughts, any help would be appreciated.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Empower yourself.

Something to always remember:

Intend for everything to work out as it should, then let go and allow opportunities and openings to come your way.
Intention is much more powerful when it comes from a place of contentment than if it arises from a sense of lack or need. Stay centered and refuse to be influenced by others doubts or criticisms.
Your higher self knows that everything is all right and will be all right, even without knowing the details or timing of what will happen.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


this night cloaks me
I sit, chai latte to my left
Typing out my heart
in black stick letters
letters composing words, that reach my brain formulating pictures, memories, emotions

Odd how life is so harmonious with our hearts
Even the struggle, even the bad
We allow the world to showcase our inner hearts to ourselves.
What you see is the universe responding to your essence.

Its like we are free falling into ourselves.

Changes and fluctuations come and go in our lives.
The beauty of it is to embrace those changes.

to love that sensation of change.
to evoke heart
to be true to yourself

For the change is awakening the deepest parts of yourself
Parts of me that I never knew existed.
Like a release of my true self

That young 19 year old that was naive but giving to the point of losing everything.
That woman that wasnt hurt, that didn't know what harm was
To be truly vulnerable again
That is all I ever wanted

And that is what I now have.

Reputation is a facade,
who is able to open themselves completely to existence?
All of us, that is who
But who can open themselves completely to others?
well, that takes insight, and a deeper understanding of existence

It is what it means to truly live

Are we truly living?
I choose yes

moving past the pain, anger, transgressions
and onto light.
onto love