Saturday, April 18, 2009

Control

Do we know what we desire?
In our hearts?
Do we know now- in this moment- that all will be ok?
Have we come to terms with the notion that sometimes things won't work out?
And that the initial idea was justified and called for?

I am learning some hard lessons with life

That there are some things in this world that no amount of effort can fix.
That your heart may be sincere-
and though you try with all your might-
somethings just aren't meant to be.

I have spent my life attempting to prove this idea wrong.
Proving that the good will always win out
and that it is our narrow scope that eludes us to the inner voice of dissent.

But my life has had some futile conclusions-
where no matter what I did, how hard I worked, how much time and love I put into something-
it just didn't work out.
I couldn't change what I couldn't control.

Control.
I detest that word.
but I see myself hoping for a particular outcome
then attempting to make it so
only to my own disappointment

And this goes for anything in life.

When will we let go of needing outcomes?
when will we see that things will happen as they should
that no matter the intensity of your manipulation-
heartache, sickness, death
will always be a continual potential outcome in our lives?

Its all about how you handle it.
Take life as it comes
or spend your last breath attempting to stall the inevitable.

I dont want to participate in the latter anymore.
I don't want to continually set myself up
only to be let down.
I don't want to expect an imaginary outcome
But I still want to believe that the good will win out.
I think we all want to believe that
because we know it is true

so the key is to let go.
Trust in the forms.
the movement.
ourselves.
And lets see where it takes us.

:)

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